Wednesday, October 24, 2012

One month

This little guy is one month old. And what a wonderful month it has been! He goes to bed at 9pm and only wakes up once in the middle of the night to feed. I'm not sure what time he wakes up for the day, somewhere between 8-9. Because he doesn't cry or say a peep. He just chills in his crib. What a good baby. I have loved snuggling and being with him everyday. My favorite thing is singing to him while I hold him against my chest and walk around. Bonding with him has been so special.

He has stolen my heart

Very seldom does he get this upset

Happy Halloween!

There's something about sleeping babies

Happy One Month!

Thursday, October 4, 2012


It was September 24, around 4:30 am I wake up with an unusual pain I've never felt before. It feels like a contraction but I'm not sure. I get out of bed and walk around until its gone. Crawl back into bed and as I'm drifting off to sleep I feel it again. It's a disrupting and uncomfortable feeling so I can't fall back asleep. I'm wide awake and walking around.  I start timing the contractions and find that they are about 7 min apart. By 6 am I wake up kyle and tell him, "I think its time because I just lost my mucus plug and I've been having contractions since 4:30 and they're starting to get closer together." We call the midwife but she can't see me until 9am when the clinic opens. So I have to wait for 3 hours with these contractions that are starting to move from level uncomfortable, to level pain. During this time the pain is tolerable but by 8 o'clock I'm screaming in my pillow and biting down on it while kyle rubs my back and times my contractions. 5 min apart...3 min apart. Poor guy felt so bad and all he wanted to do was take my pain away but couldn't.
Finally, 9 am rolls around and we drive to the clinic. My midwife checks and tells me I'm 4 cm dilated and I can go to the hospital. YES!! We get there and I get checked in. The contractions start to get stronger and it's only the beginning. I ask the nurse if the contractions will be even stronger than what I'm feeling when I deliver, "yes." (oh crap) Now I'm beginning to regret my decision of not going to birthing classes. What was I thinking?! Apparently I wasn't. I didn't want to know the details of child-birthing because ignorance is bliss. Well, ignorance is stupid! Panic begins to creep in (I don't know what I'm doing. Kyle doesn't know what he's doing. I don't know how to breathe through the contraction. I already get slight asthma attacks that my chest feels like a heavy weight has been dropped on it and it feels constrained, then I get all lightheaded when I'm so nervous and worried). *contraction* *muffled screaming* *hyperventilating* (I'm such an idiot). The nurse tells me, "Calm down and breathe, you have to breathe" (thanks, lady. I know. I'm just freaking out that this is how my body responds. If I knew how I would do it). The nurse sees that I'm not doing well so she calls for the anesthesiologist.

By 11 am I'm getting my epidural and life comes back to normal. Getting an epidural went a lot better than I imagined it would go. I didn't feel the needle, only a pinch, and it all went quick.  Finally, I was able to rest and relax. The epidural worked so well that Kyle said, "oh man, you're getting a contraction right now and it's spiking!"Not a wince in sight :) I manage to sleep for a few hours through out my labor. At 5 pm my mother in a law and sister in law came to be a part of the delivery. How wonderful to have them there.  Finally 3 nurses, 3 naps, and 4 ice cups later, my midwife, courtney, came in. It was 8:30 pm and she told me I was ready to start pushing. OH MAN!! It's getting real. Here we go.

Kyle to my left, nurse to my right, and Courtney in the middle coaching me as I go. It was so incredible because at first I was being told when to push but soon I could feel the pressure(not pain) of the contraction, despite having the epidural, and pushed before they even told me. They would even sometimes miss a contraction but I was already pushing. During this, I started to feel really weak and faint. I felt SO HOT and couldn't concentrate. They checked my temperature and it had shot up to 107 and I was given Tylenol right away. What seemed like 20 min passed in 2.5 hours because at 10:11 pm Courtney said to me, "Open your eyes and see your son being born." With one last push out came the most beautiful, perfect, tiny, little boy. Ten little toes, ten little finger. A head full of thick black hair. I couldn't help but cry. Cry at this little miracle we had created. Cry at how perfect he was. Cry at finally being able to hold him after 9 months of waiting. Cry because I had just become a mother, the noblest of all callings. Cry at the fact that I felt that I had known him forever, even with the first look. He laid on my chest and Dad and I just cried and life around us seemed to be still and silent. It was just the three of us, finally. It was the most amazing, beautiful, and sacred experience of my life.

The human body is a masterpiece. It is an incredible creation that works so perfectly.  Caleb was physically created from a two singe cells. My uterus was a home to my son; a living, breathing, human being!!! I nourished him and helped him grow INSIDE OF ME. He came out and my body worked overtime to make that happen, all at the same time of providing for me. And my body will go back to how it once was, only to be expanded and moved around inside again for the next time.  My mind just cannot wrapped itself around that ability. My spirit and mind just know that it's true. How can people not believe there is a God and that He created us when something so powerful, so mind blowing, beautiful, amazing, and indescribable like this happens. We did not come to be by accident.

 September 24, 2012 at 10:11 pm, Caleb E. Bastian was born. Weighing in at 8 lb 1 oz.  20.5 inches. He couldn't be more perfect.